Crossdresser, Sissy, or Transgender?

by Ms. Rachel of


Are you new to feminization and trying to determine whether you are a sissy, crossdresser, or transgender? One of the things that has surprised me most since I began entertaining those with feminine desires of one kind or another are the number who don’t know what to call how they feel.  Don’t get me wrong–though labels have their uses, they’re far from essential.  But sometimes, they are helpful.  

Helpful to you, the aspiring femme, in realizing that you are not alone in your desires (after all, there would hardly be terms for these things if you were), helpful to both you and your Mistress in discerning whether or not the two of you are a good fit, and if you are, the direction in which your playtime could or should go.

Many FemDom Mistresses subscribe to the idea of three main subcultures encompassing the needs and fantasies of the bulk of those who come to us for help, feminization training, fantasy exploration, or friendship:  Crossdressers, Sissies, and Transgender women.


Two Things all Sissies, Crossdressers, and Transgenders Should Know


Before I get into the specifics that differentiate one from the other, it will be useful for you aspiring fillies to note two things:

Practice talking like a woman, or even developing a feminine walk, doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with who you like to have sex with, or how.  It doesn’t mean anything by itself other than that, well, you like to wear women’s clothing.

Two, neither sexual orientation nor gender identity are binary, meaning neither is an either/or proposition.  They’re both better described as a continuum, with lots of shades of grey between black and white.  That’s a minor point, but good to keep in mind if, after reading this essay, you find yourself feeling more in between the descriptions than comfortably ensconced in one of them.

Now then, let’s begin.

Do You Love Women and Women’s Clothing?


Do you love women’s clothing, but also women?  Do you find lingerie comfortable, beautiful, and sexy, whether you see it on a woman or on yourself?  Does the ritual of getting dressed in something lacy or silky relax your mind?  Do you covet the softer and more exclusive fabrics from which women’s clothing tends to be made?  

Is getting dressed more of an homage to the beauty of all things womanly, rather than born of a desire to identify as feminine yourself?  Are you not necessarily submissive? If you answered “yes” to most of these questions when you and I first met on the phone, I would assume you were a crossdresser.

In my experience, for crossdressers, it’s mostly about the clothes.  There isn’t even necessarily anything sexual about getting dressed, though being dressed can arouse a crossdresser.  But the fact that a crossdresser likes to dress tells you precisely nothing about their sexual tastes, nor their sexual orientation, nor where they fall in the D/s dynamic.


Do You Enjoy the Erotic Humiliation of Dressing En Femme?


Is getting dressed or being dressed, removing body hair, getting one’s hair styled, manicures and pedicures, and all the other trappings of being ultra feminine somehow connected to a zest for erotic humiliation and a desire to be controlled?  Are the styles about which you fantasize over the top representations of traditionally feminine “characters”, like the cheerleader, the prom queen, the ballerina, or the bride?  

Do you feel drawn to being feminized and dominated because you are aroused by the idea that you may be inferior to other men?  Do you yearn to be trained for sexual service?  Is your alter ego a silly bimbo in pastel colors and ruffles and lace?  Do you fantasize about a strict feminization Mistress coercing you into undergoing embarrassing physical changes like oversized breast implants and hormone treatments, while insisting that you keep your penis so that you never confuse yourself with a real woman?  Do you think of your ass as a pussy and your penis as a clitty?    Then you, my dear, are a sissy.

The standout characteristic that defines a sissy is feminization as part of submission.  The clothing tastes may not be as described above, and she may not be used as a fuckdoll or cockservant, but in her, submission and feminization are inseparable.


Were You Born in the Wrong Body?


Have you known from an early age that you were born in the wrong body?  Is feminization not so much a matter of sex play or sensual indulgence for you as it is a matter of psychological well-being?  If you could afford it, would you jump at the chance to have surgery to bring your physicality more in line with who you know you are inside?  Do you fantasize about becoming passable?  If you love women, do you think of yourself as a lesbian?  

If you are attracted to men, do you think of yourself as straight?  Though you may be kinky, does that have little or nothing to do with your gender identity?  Hello, sister.  You’re a transgender woman.  And whether you happen to be a woman with some kinky tastes who wants to be dominated by a fellow woman, or just someone who needs someone to talk to as you contemplate the changes you’d like to undergo physically and become more and more comfortable with your truth, you are welcome among us.

I hope this essay has helped to give some potential femmes a bit of a better idea of where they might fit, and what to ask for when considering the ideal relationship they might have with a Mistress.  Remember, it’s okay if none of the three precisely fit your conception of yourself; quite a few of my femme pets are somewhere in between two of these, or even some version of all three.  

What’s important is not how well you conform to a label such as sissy, crossdresser or transgender, but how comfortable you feel exploring the femme in you, and if these descriptions have helped any of you do that, then my time in writing it has been well-spent.

Still trying to determine whether you are a sissy, crossdresser or transgender? Give one of our feminization Mistresses a call, today!



Goddess Rachel sensual domme

Goddess Rachel Sensual

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