How To Tell Your Spouse You’re a Cross Dresser

You are a cross dresser. First of all, there is nothing to be ashamed of. You are what you are and there is nothing wrong with that. Before I give you any other advice on how to share this part of yourself with your spouse, I want to make sure that I tell you that.

We are all unique, odd, interesting, exciting, and special in our own ways and no one should ever be ashamed of what they like, who they are, or what turns them on. Second, I’m going to assume you want to share this with someone you love, not just a casual acquaintance from whom you can easily move on.

I know this isn’t just difficult, it’s scary.  But I’m going to help you. I have tips to get you through it with as little difficulty as possible. So, first of all, don’t be ashamed and second, don’t worry.

You Are a Cross Dresser: Know Yourself

Now, the basic tips I have for helping you begin with knowing yourself. Whether you have been a cross dresser for 1 year or 30 years, this is obviously a part of you that is very important or you wouldn’t be at the point where you consider sharing it with another person.

Remember, you have had lots of time to get used to the idea of you as a cross dresser.  Your spouse has not and they are going to have questions, so you have to be prepared to answer those questions. Whatever answer you give, it will be what they perceive as your truth, so make sure it is. Especially one of the biggest ones: Are you gay?

Well, are you? No matter what your response to that question is, make sure it is the complete truth, from your heart and soul. They aren’t asking you to make you feel bad or put you on the spot. They honestly need to know. So, before you even approach them, think about it. Do you like getting dressed up because it makes you feel sexy?

Do you like being dressed up because it makes you feel more like a woman?  Or, do you like cross dressing because you want 

to be with a man, either exclusively or in a bi-sexual relationship? Think about those questions because your spouse will and they will care about your answer. Trust me when I tell you that “I don’t know” is not going to cut it.

The Truth Sets You Free

This seems obvious, I’m sure. Since you’ve already decided to tell your spouse, of course you’d be honest about the fact you are a cross dresser. But make sure you are ready to open yourself up for questions. These questions are not only about your sexuality, but about how much money you’ve spent on clothing, make up, shoes, wigs etc..

How, when and where did you do this and for how long? Why didn’t you tell your spouse right away? Does anyone else know? A side note here: If you are telling more than one person, tell your spouse first. They will not understand being second to anyone, not even your mother.

Okay, so now that you know what I mean by honesty, prepare yourself. You have to be ready for some open and honest communication. Don’t wait until you are caught crossdressing or until you are upset and need something to win the argument.

This is something you take very seriously and you want your spouse to do the same. So find time, the right time, to sit down together and discuss this. Ideally, you want to have a few hours open without interruption and the next day off from work and free of commitments for both of you.

Don’t set up an elaborate vacation or getaway. That will give the wrong message. When someone is expecting romance and gets truth it’s never a pretty picture.

Cross Dresser Acceptance and Respect

There are so many more details I could add here, but overall I think you understand that this must be done not only with acceptance and respect for yourself and your relationship, but for your spouse.

You have controlled the situation by keeping the cross dresser truth to yourself and now it’s out. You are no longer in control and cannot expect to dictate how your spouse reacts.  Just as you lived with the secrets, you now will have to live with their reaction to knowing.

I’m not saying it’s going to be bad. In fact, I’d wager that most of the time, honesty and love win out and everything works out for the best in the end. Just be prepared for a bit of a rocky road for a while and don’t assume that just because your spouse isn’t happy and excited about this immediately, that it means they won’t come around.

Who knows, they may even enjoy getting you all dolled up for a girls night out together! Everyone needs time to adjust to things, especially big revelations. So take a deep breath and prepare yourself for a new journey. One of honesty and open communication and the possibility of sexy fun! Good luck and remember you are wonderful, however you are.

Need someone to talk to about it?  Give one of our feminization Mistresses a call, today!